You don’t know how many times I’ve sat down and tried to put this into words.

I want so much to get it out so that it won’t weigh so heavy on my mind, though I know it will never leave. I’ll think about it everyday until my last.

I’m here. I’m here just like you wanted me to be. Just like I wanted to be for you. I can’t even remember when we decided I was to come here. It was never a question. Just a fact. I knew the fun stories about your time here. But we never talked about the important things. What were your favorite classes, what building did you spend the most time in, what dorm did you live in? I didn’t ask because you were supposed to be there to tell me when it was my turn. You were supposed to be special tour guide. Show me the ropes.

Hah. I’m sitting on my bed in my dorm crying, and my Dad must be psychic because he just randomly texted me that he loves me.  I miss them so much.

I miss you so much. Nannie’s birthday was Friday. I mailed her a card full of pictures. I sent her one that I took of Kyle Field. Mom and her are going to come for a visit in March. Let Nannie see the campus again. She hasn’t seen it since you were a student here. Taking her on dates to Midnight Yells.

Some days are great. Walking around campus, feeling like I’m actually doing something with my life. And then some days I will walk into an especially old building, or by the Century tree, and I just can’t help but wonder what stories you would tell me if you were walking with me. What you thought of that particular spot on campus. If you ever had a class in the same classrooms as me. I call Nannie once a week. Usually every Sunday. I cry every time I get off the phone with her. Because every Sunday she ends the phone call with telling me how proud she is of me, and that she loves me. And right before she hangs up she never fails to tell me that you would be in fits you’d be so proud of me.

I love it here. You were completely right in everything you ever told me about this magical place. It’s a family. But a very special Aggie is missing from my family. I can still feel your hugs, your kisses that would make me giggle because your whiskers tickled. I’d give it all up just for one more “I love you.”.