It’s Getting Dark and It’s All So Quiet

It is one of those nights where I sit here with a heavy heart willing tears not to fall. Nothing is wrong. Nothing has happened. I am just on the verge of tears. I think it might be a multitude of things, however. I am most definitely at a cross roads in my life. I was filling out college applications the other night, and found myself questioning everything. I am terribly good at that. Questioning. I mean, it is like, why do I do what I do? Why do I try so hard? For what? Experience shows me that none of it matters in the end. Nothing matters. Not how hard you’ve tried, not what you’ve accomplished. When it is over, when you die, you are reduced to a ten minute eulogy full of clichés, most don’t do you justice anyway. People cry at the time, and then you are gone, like you never existed. Now, don’t get me wrong. Your family is , of course, left in shambles. The ones you loved are at a loss. I’m not sure it is easy for people my age to grasp the finality of Death. Not so much the ones lost, but perhaps the ones left?