Here’s to Old Lovers, Here’s to Old Friends. The Heart Won’t Break, but Thank God That it Bends.

I guess I’ve hit that point in High School where those who were your best friends start to look a lot more like strangers. There are days when I have to stop and attempt to remember why we were even friends at all. As the thought of leaving home in a year’s time encroaches on my mind, I am realizing the true differences in us. And then there is the other one. The one who wants to be friends when I don’t, and is nowhere to  be found when I need a a shoulder to cry on. I feel as if I will never get away from it. No matter how hard I try, they are always going to be in life. We’ve been friends too long, been too involved, too close for them not to be. It is strange, I originally had this title as a totally different entry, concerning a totally different subject. But it fits this better.. more than you know. Goodness.. One year and I will be a senior being thrown..or gently tossed.. into the world. I think I will be fine. My classmates on the other hand. I am not so sure. We’ve all changed so much..cliché I know.

It is currently 12:28 AM.. Lately once I start thinking all hopes of sleep are lost. My mind wonders to things that I didn’t even know I remembered. Random memories with.. well you know. Don’t you hate that? It’s like, in that moment if I had only known how things were going to end up I would have acted differently. I would have treasure it more.. Perhaps? Or maybe not. I might of stopped while we..I.. was ahead. That would have been smarter. I miss it. But I don’t. Maybe I’m just being a teenager. Oh yeah and that. I only have two more years left of being a teenager. And what have I done as a teenager, you ask? Nothing. Nada. Goose egg. No really I have. I rarely do anything fun really. I spend all my time at school, babysitting, doing community service, or with my family. Which of course isn’t bad, but it just makes me wonder If I am going to regret it later.. Who knows. College.. College..College.. Scary..Scary..Scary.. I’m not ready.. I keep thinking I need more time. I’m not ready to be  done with High School yet. So I decided to apply for Vice President of NHS. On a whim. A wise friend of mine convinced me. I was told by the advisor to apply for something else, so I would have a guaranteed position. I said no thanks. I will be okay if I don’t get, more than actually. At least I tried, right? Eh.

Oh well, I guess we shall see. My last TAKS tests ever this week. And SAT Saturday..

peace

d

Pic: Austin, from the Capital.